3 Secret Techniques That Will Teach You Self-Love

The no BS techniques that pulled me from rock bottom

Lea O


Photo by Caroline Veronez on Unsplash

Is narcissism to blame for why we hate ourselves so much?

That’s the claim Christopher Lasch made in his 1978 book, The Culture of Narcissism, where he details the decline of American confidence. He’s not the last to sound the alarm. Dick Meyer released Why We Hate Us: American Discontent in the New Millennium in 2008.

Maybe it’s because we spend so much time online and not enough time in real life. Maybe it’s because we moved away from the community and towards extreme individualism. Maybe it’s because you didn’t have the tools to heal from trauma, or maybe it’s the crushing pressure of modern life.

If you Google self-hate, you’ll see this…

Screenshot from Google Search

Whatever the reason, self-hatred shows up in everything from mental health to your quality of life. While there are tons of how-to-love-yourself guides out there, very few of them worked for me.

I’ll be honest…

I spent a lot of my twenties hating who I was and my life. I was lonely, depressed, and exhausted from trying to make it look like none of that was true.

When I would confide my true emotions (ya know, following the reach-out advice), I was chastised and met with unhelpful platitudes.

“What do you have to be depressed about anyway?”
“Chin up! Just keep going”

This is the trap of self-hate. Though it’s rampant, most people are too ashamed to admit this is where they are, and when they do, they’re made to feel even worse.

Worse still, if you turn to the self-help gurus, you’re bombarded with bully-based tactics shouting how easy it is to simply will yourself out of it.

Willpower won’t work.
Extreme exercise won’t work.
Yoga sessions won’t work.
Regular venting sessions won’t work.